October 2004 writing of the month

Cultural differences have embarrassed me
by Sang Her, Atlanta English Institute

Editor’s note: We received stories from Sang Her, Jin Park and Kanghweuk Seo.

I came from Korea which is a small country of oriental persuasion. I have been living in the United States for two years. Occasionally, I have been embarrassed due to differences in culture. I have noticed three main differences between my country and America.

First, one of the biggest things is in conversation. In Korea, one mode is used for older persons to show respect and politeness. I never call the person’s name who is older than me. However, Americans are able to call each other by name, no matter their age.

The second difference is the public expression of love and affection. In my country, people don’t accept hugs and kisses in public places—only parents can kiss their children. An old Korean saying even says that people are not allowed to be near those who are seven years older than they are—unless they are married or close relatives. Public display of affection is not permitted.

The last one is that when a person coughs in front of others, Americans say, “excuse me.” However, Koreans don’t say that because it is not considered rude and cannot be controlled by the person. I just cover my mouth with my hand or turn my head. Apologizing is not necessary or even expected like it is here.

These are some of the cultural differences I have observed. I think that by immersing ourselves in another culture and not judging or criticizing it, we may be able to learn from each other and understand each other better.

I was born August 8, 1938 in Moscow, in the former Soviet Union. On June 22, 1941 World War II began for us when Germany invaded our country. My father went to defend it voluntarily and was killed on December 18, 1942. At that time my brother was 11 years old. My mother was a mathematics teacher before the war, but when we were evacuated, she worked as an accountant in a hospital for wounded soldiers. The war was not finished yet when we came back to Moscow. We went by steamer and train. All the way I looked for my father among the soldiers in the stations because I didn’t understand that he wasn’t still alive. I often said to my mother, “See, father, see father!”

We lost many relatives in the time of war. Two sisters and one brother of my mother were among them. The husband of a sister was alive but he lost his wife and two children. My mother and he had known each other before, and after the end of the war he proposed to my mother to be married.

After that, our family moved to Leningrad. It wasn’t easy and simple for every one of us. My stepfather was much older than my mother and they couldn’t forget their lost spouses and his children. My brother couldn’t forget his father either. My brother and I studied at school. After he finished at the Academy of Arts, he became an artist. I finished the Technology Institute and
became an engineer.

Because our children emigrated to different countries, we also emigrated behind them. Now we live very far from my brother and we miss each other. With such an experience in my life I hate all wars.

I was born on August 28, 1938 in a wealthy and large family in Pingtung, Taiwan. My father, educated in Japan, was a successful businessman. I have four brothers and two sisters.

I spoke Japanese during my childhood. After China took occupation of Taiwan at the end of World War II, I was forced to learn Chinese in school. The school authorities prohibited students from speaking Japanese. A few years later, I forgot all my Japanese. Learning a language for me is something like, “Easy come, easy go.”

After graduating from high school, I was encouraged by my father to take the university entrance examination that is very hard to pass. I was not a “study-hard” student. Unfortunately, I failed the exam. My father comforted me, “Never mind, next year you will pass the exam if you study hard. I have confidence in you.” Where there is a will there is a way. I became a student of a prestigious university the next year.

After I graduated from the university, I was conscripted into the army. I served in the army for two years. After leaving the army, I got my first job as a teacher, teaching in a senior high school. Six months later, I transferred to a sugar factory. I worked hard. I scaled the ladder of occupation smoothly. At last I was the head of a department.

English is very interesting to me. I like reading English magazines and novels. My brother who is an American citizen and lives in America told me one day after my retirement, “Come and stay with me. The senior center near my house is a good place for you to learn and practice your English.” That’s why I came here.

"I like very much to write essays and poems. I don't know very well English, but this situation is not an obstacle to write. When I write an essay or a poem, I relax and learn a lot of new words. I'll be very happy if I share my essays or poems with other students and you too."

Have you ever thought that if you were an animal, what animal would you choose to be? If I were an animal, I would choose to be a bird. There are many different and beautiful birds in nature. Each bird has different characteristics. I’m not a zoologist but my knowledge about birds is enough to admire them. They can do all of the functions of the creatures. Some of them can fly as long as an airplane, swim as well as a fish, run as fast as a horse and walk as funny as a baby or as well as an adult too. When I think of the sound and beauty of nature, I remember birds immediately. They are on the trees, on the chimneys of houses, on the lakes, on the oceans, on the mountains, on the highest rocky hills, in the pictures, in our best dreams, and everywhere. They make us happy with their sounds and beauty. Their feathers show us unique colors, their sounds sing the happiest songs. When they fly in the sky they remind us of freedom and peace, don’t they?

If I were a bird, I would choose to be a dove, because it is the best symbol of peace. This really white bird explains to humanity the most beautiful and the biggest dream even if it has a small body. If I were a dove, I would fly to the countries where there is fighting and carry peace on my wings to give them. I would wish that the entire world would have peace as white as my feathers!